


Valentines day Fiasko

by androgynousclintbarton



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Asexual Clint Barton, Injured Nick Fury, Injured Phil Coulson, James 'Rhodey' Rhodes/Tony Stark (Mentioned), Laura Barton/Natasha Romonoff, M/M, Supportive Clint Barton, Very short amount of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 14:05:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6010272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick, Phil and Clint try to plan out the perfect valentines day for their first year as a family.</p><p>(This will be updated weakly with 2-3 chapters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Worries

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RainGirl696](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainGirl696/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Clint

                There was a soft thunk against the wall that Natasha had propped herself up against for comfort while she cleaned her knives. She did her best to ignore both the sound, and the blond man who was trying to get her attention with it, and for a while it worked.

Unfortunately, the blond continued to toss his purple rubber ball at the wall beside her in an attempt to start a conversation, but she wasn’t going to give in. He was going to have to grow up and use his big boy words if he wanted to talk to her.

                “Jeez Tasha, why do you have to be so stubborn?” He whined after ten minutes of his antics “talk to me, please.”

                “Now that you’ve learned how to use your words,” he glared at her taunt “what is so important that you’re afraid to talk about it?”

                “I am not…” She shot a glare at him, smirking when he looked down at the ground with a pout on his face. “Valentines day is coming up…”

                “I do happen to be aware of this fact. I made reservations at Laura’s favorite place for the day before.” Natasha confirmed, a soft smile spreading across her face as she thought about the engagement ring in her locker. Laura didn’t like the celebration of love being restricted to a particular day, so for the five years they had been together, Natasha always took her out to dinner at the same place and then went on a new adventure to show Laura something beautiful and fun. This year they were going rock climbing before dinner, but Natasha was going to finish the night off with a proposal for the best kind of adventure that life could offer her. A lifetime with Laura and all the love that they could give to each other.

                “Yes, but Tasha,” whined Clint, pulling Natasha out of her daydreams rudely and earning a glare for it. “I’ve never done Valentines day before and Phil and Nick are excited and…” he went quiet suddenly, and it didn’t take Natasha long to realize his problem.

                “You think you’re going to mess it all up.” She sighed, not bothering to wait for his response. Clint was an open book for anyone willing to take a moment to read, and it hurt her to know that her abuse and torture had taught her confidence and skill, while his had taught him that he couldn’t do anything right. “Let me finish with my knives and I’ll give Laura a call. Her and Nick are best friends, she’ll have ideas of what he’ll like.”

                Slowly, a smile spread across Clint’s face when he realized what she was saying “You’re the best Tasha!”

                “So I’ve been told.” She agreed with a triumphant Grin. "but since i'm helping you figure out your love life..."

               "Hey, my love life is fantastic" protested Clint with an annoyed huff "you're helping me figure out how to keep it fantastic instead of letting me suffer alone and possibly screw everything up."

                 Rolling her eyes, Natasha took a deep breath and tried to focus on finishing up with her last knife. she had promised herself long ago that she would never stab or hurt Clint, no matter how annoying or self deprecating he got. it was her way of saying 'thank you' for bringing her into SHIELD instead of killing her, and giving her the chance to meet Laura and everyone else. "trust me, you could commit murder outside of our jobs and those two would still love you. they're not going to let you screw up anything for the three of you. if anything, they should have dumped you after you got hold of baking soda and Vinegar and decided to 'do Science' without supervision."

                Clint took a moment to think about what Natasha had said, and he couldn't help but laugh fondly when he realized that she was right. "you people keep mentioning all the times i 'do science' and make a mess out of it, and somehow you always seem to forget that you were almost always a willing participant in it. you're the one who wanted to add Red dye for the full 'lava effect'"

                   "we don't talk about that" she reminded him in a calm voice. finishing up with her last knife, she put it away in it's pouch carefully and started to fold up the knife carrier gently "anyways, as i was saying before you so rudely interrupted me..."

                  "i did not..." Natasha shot a glare at him, and smirked when his eyes went wide and he physically started to move backwards in an attempt to put distance between them. "no please, continue."

                      "since i'm helping you with your love life..." she said more clearly, her eyes still concentrated on him as if she was preparing to have him interrupt her again. "i think you owe me some sparing time."

                    "you always kick my ass Tasha," he protested with a whimper.

                       "we'll make a deal then" she decided with a shrug of her shoulders "you have at least... let's say 5 sparing matches with my over the week. not to many so we don't get board of each other, but just enough to let me have a punching bag that actually stands a chance."

                       "getting board of beating up other Agents?" he smiled triumphantly

                         "well," she thought about it for a second "Sharon, Melinda and Bobbie are always fun to spare with, but Sharon is on a long under cover op right now. Bobbie is currently healing from a broken arm on her last mission, and Melinda is on her honeymoon with Andrew."

                             "Ahhh, so all your good sparing partners are gone for a while" he smiled at the realization "ok fine, i'll let you beat me up five times and maybe i'll even get a few punches in of my own."

                               "doubtful" she smirked "but that's what the other part of the deal is for. every time we have a spare, i'll take you to the range after and we can both use my allocated range time to show off and make the juniors fear us more."

                               "you are an evil women," Clint pointed out "i love it."

                                "of course you do," putting her knives away in her duffle bag, the red head pushed herself to her feet effortlessly and waited for Clint to do the same "let's go call Laura and then we can start off with one spare before our mission tomorrow."

                                 "that means you'll go easy on me, right?" instead of answering her best friend, Natasha started to walk towards the door without a word "Natasha? Tasha come on! i need to shoot people tomorrow!"


	2. New Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper and Phil

“This place? Again?” with an annoyed sigh and barley noticeable roll of his eyes, Phil directed his gaze towards Jasper and frowned when he saw his best friend holding his daily planner. When the hell had he grabbed that and how? “you left it on the coffee table,” Jasper answered his unasked question for him “you’re getting careless in your old age Phil.”

                “I’ll remember that next time you call me because you forgot to pack lunch and don’t want to go out alone,” he made his way around his desk and over to Jasper in five quick strides, snatching his planner away from the other man as soon as he was close enough. “and what’s wrong with the usual place? Nick loves it and we’ve been going every year since we got together.”

                A smile pulled at his lips while he thought about the past seven years of memories, and the new one’s waiting to be made with both Nick and Clint.

                “That’s exactly the problem, Phil,” Jasper threw his arms up into the air in annoyance. “it’s yours and Nicks place. Barton hasn’t even been there.”

                “I thought he would like it,” whispered Phil, his eyes glancing down at the note that he had written out on February 14th in smooth letters and red ink. “is…is it a bad idea?”

                For a second, he could see a look of surprise cross Jaspers face before he eased into a fond smile. “I’m sure Clint would love it Phil,” the confirmation seemed to ease Phil’s worry, but he wasn’t naive enough to think there wasn’t a ‘but’ attached to Jaspers soft words. “It’s just… it’s yours and Nick’s place, and it should stay that way. Clint is a new part of your life, he shouldn’t take over all of your old memories with just the two of you.”

                “So, cancel the reservation?” his heart broke at the thought of not going to his and Nick’s favorite place, and Jasper must have read the hurt in his eyes because he was waving his arms in front of himself in protest.

                “No, no no no. that’s not what I meant Phil,” he clarified “Push it back a day, or maybe have it on the 13th. Go out with Nick, just the two of you at your favorite place and keep tradition. But the 14th should be reserved at a new place. You need to try making brand new memories with Clint and Nick. Don’t sacrifice the old one’s, just… add to them.”

                “I guess I see your point,” he closed the daily planner with a snap and took a deep breath “it’s going to be hard to get reservations this close to valentine’s day, but maybe I can find a place.”

                “I’m sure you’ll manage some how.” Jasper reached out towards him and laid his hand down on his best friend’s shoulder “just remember. Nick and you like fancy and classy. Clint prefers simple and relaxed. You put him in a place where he has to dress up too much…”

                “And he’ll panic, trust me, I know.” With his eyes still glued to the daily planner in his hand, Phil took a deep breath in and sighed. Things just got a little more complicated for him, and he really hated complicated.


	3. Valentines day is about Friendship as well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Rhodey

                With his eye on the clock, Nick drummed his fingers against the top of his desk impatiently and waited for the time to strike 7pm.

                If nothing earth shattering happened, he could go home at that time and maybe even steal some cuddles from Clint before his early morning trip with Natasha for their mission. He was just about to watch the clock strike 7 and bolt out of his office before a phone call or knock on the door could stop him, when his plans were rudely interrupted by the sound of ‘Love machine’ by the miracles.

                With a sigh of defeat, he stuffed his hand in the pocket of his pants and pulled out the offending object and glared at the name written across the bottom of the phone screen. Rhodey, that meant Stark was either planning on doing something stupid that was a risk to himself and others, or he already was.

                He was about to answer when the ring tone song started up again, and he took a moment to roll his eyes. He was going to have to ban Clint from ever playing with his phone settings again, and possibly from touching his music collection. The man had an unhealthy obsession for his music.

                “What is he doing this time?” his voice was calm and even as he greeted Rhodey, but inside he couldn’t help but think of all the cuddles he might end up missing because Stark decided to be an ass.

                “For once, nothing earth shattering and dangerous,” there was a hint of aggravation laced in Rhodey’s calm tone, and that’s all Nick needed to hear. “I just…” The Colonel let out an audible sound of defeat. “what’s a normal Valentine’s day like, Nick?”

                For a second, he was taken back by Rhodey’s question. Most people would never assume that he had a normal relationship with his boyfriends, and the increasingly interesting and crazy stories about his date’s with Phil over the years, and now both Phil and Clint, were proof of this.

                “I like to think that it involves a nice dinner out with your significant other, maybe a movie, and cuddles on the couch or bed. It depends on who you’re with,” as he spoke, Nick pushed himself to his feet and made his way towards the door, deciding that this was a conversation that he could have on the way home. I assume that since you felt the need to ask, this is not how Stark Treats Valentines day with you?”

                On the other side of the phone, Nick could hear this distinct sound of Rhodey actually doing a face palm. “Nick, he wants to have a party, for couples. He wants to make a big show just like always and i…I just…”

                The line fell silent just as Nick pulled his trench coat on and closed his office door behind him. Flipping the cover to the key pad beside the door open, he punched in the 13 digit code flawlessly and leaned down just far enough to let the scanner inspect his eye.

                “Well, I’m not sure there’s much I can do unless…”

                “No!” Rhodey cut him off quickly before he could finish, already knowing where he was going with this line of thought. “No, it’s ok. Please don’t send Natasha over to scare him into smartening up, I do not need to deal with that on top of everything else.”

                “I thought you might feel that way.” As he made his way down the hallway, Nick ignored the junior agents who were whispering to each other with their eyes locked on him, following his smooth movements while he strolled towards the exit. “All you can really do is tell him how you feel. If he’s not willing to listen to you than maybe you should skip the party so that he gets the picture.”

                He could practically hear Rhodey rolling his eyes at the sound of that “ya, like he’ll even notice my absence.

                “Rhodey,” whispered Nick, his voice going soft for a moment. “I know better than most people that Stark is an egotistical, self centered play boy who is always looking for attention and the next big challenge…”

                “Hey, I…” interrupted Rhodey, only to silence himself quickly when Nick continued to speak.

                “But something else that I know for sure, is that the idiot loves you. I can guarantee that if you do not show up to his party, he will notice.” Using his shoulder to shove the door to the parking lot open, Nick stepped past it and saw his car waiting to take him home. “Listen, I can’t tell you how to run your life Rhodey, especially when you’re dating Stark…”

                “I…I can’t really argue with that,” admitted Rhodey with a sigh of defeat.

                “Try to explain it to him. If he won’t listen, let him have the party without you while you treat yourself to a night out on the town, with his credit card of course.”

                “you are an evil man, Nick Fury,” chuckled Rhodey “I love it.”

                Shaking his head, Nick pulled his car keys out of his jacket pocket and pressed the unlock button. “Just don’t spend too much. You can already kick his ass in a fight, you don’t want to out do him in something he’s actually good at.”

                “I’ll do my best,” promised Rhodey with a chuckle “thanks Nick, you’re the best.”

                Yanking the drivers side door open, Nick let a smile pull across his lips at his friend’s comment. “I try,” he admitted in a gentle voice. “Call me anytime Rhodey. Preferably after I find a new ringtone for you.”

                “you let Clint play with your phone, didn’t you?” Rhodey laughed out loud when he thought about all of the song’s that Clint could have possibly used as a ring tone for him “you know what, I don’t even want to know what he chose.”

                “it’s really best for both of us, and possibly him as well, if you don’t.” agreed Nick.

                “I’ll take your word for that” sitting down in the driver’s seat, Nick put his keys in the ignition and started to think about his own plans for valentine’s day, and the gifts that were waiting in the trunk of his car. He was going to make sure that his boyfriends had the best valentine’s day ever, regardless of how much their jobs may try to interfere with their lives.


	4. Pre-Mission cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Fury/Clint Barton

                Drumming his fingers against the kitchen counter, Clint let his eyes glance over the grocery list that he had made that morning at Phil’s request. “Aww come on,” he grumbled to himself “why do you two have to ruin all of my fun? The candles are a good idea and I need a lot more than just four.” His fingers slide over the top of the counter carefully and started to trace over the red ink line’s that Nick had used to cross out some of the items. “That would have been perfect.”

                He could almost hear Laura rolling her eyes at his comments on the other side of the phone. “do I even want to know what you put on the grocery list this time?”

                “What make’s you thi…”

                “Clint, the last time you made a grocery list for Phil, you put arrows on it as if you didn’t get free ones from your job.” She pointed out with a soft chuckle “Not to mention the time you put ‘Mentos’ and ’Coke’ on the list and Nick made the mistake of thinking you wouldn’t make a mess.”

                “Ok to be fair,” protested the blond, a smile pulling at his lips when he heard the front door open. “I can’t use work arrows for not work related things, and your girlfriend was a willing participant in creating the Mentos/coke mess.”

                As he spoke to Laura, Clint felt a strong pair of arms making their way around his waist and the soft press of lips against his neck.

                “How was work, Handsome man?” he asked in a playful voice while listening to Laura laughing at him. Instead of answering immediately, Nick took his time to pepper Clint’s neck with more kisses.

                “I think I’ll leave the two of you to be adorable without a phone glued to your ear,” Chuckled Laura after a few minutes. “Have fun, and come back from your mission alive Clint.”

                “I have Tasha watching my back. She’ll make sure I don’t die out there.” Explained Clint while he took time to find a comfortable spot for his fingers in-between Nicks.

                “Yes Clint, because it’s not like you have any skills of your own that SHIELD recruited you for,” sarcasm dripped through every word that Laura spoke. “Natasha is absolutely the only reason you ever make it home from a mission alive, and she would definitely be able to do absolutely everything without you, including taking out targets from god only knows how far away.”

                “Well, to be fair it was N…” Clint’s rebuttal was cut short when Nick freed one of his hands from Clint’s grasp so that he could reach up and give his boyfriend a gentle tap to the back of the head. After that, he knew better than to continue if he wanted pre-mission cuddles.

                “Uh huh, Laura chuckled fondly “good night Clint, and remember what I told you.”

                “I’ve got it all saved Laura, don’t worry. Thanks for your help. You’re a life saver, as always.”

                “I may not be a super bad ass SHIELD agent like Natasha and you, but I have super powers of my own.” She responded confidently.

                With a chuckled, Clint leaned back into Nick’s arms and closed his eyes “damn right you do,:” he agreed “Goodnight, Farm girl.”

                “Good nigh, Iowa boy.” She shot back at him playfully, hanging up the phone before Clint got a chance to respond.

                With a shake of his head, Clint put the phone down on the counter and finally let himself melt into Nick’s embrace. “You’re home early.” He hummed cheerfully.

                “The world decided to stay sane for one night,” agreed Nick. Using the tip of his nose, the older man made tiny circles in the skin of Clint’s shoulder that the blonds work out tank top wasn’t covering. “At least, for now.”

                “Awww,” whined Clint when nick didn’t end his sentence at ‘one night’. “don’t jinx it Nick. I don’t want pre-mission cuddles to be cute short because of bad guys.”

                “Unfortunately, I don’t control when the bad guys decide to try and kill people or make our lives difficult in other ways,” confessed Nick, a smile pulling at his lips as Clint turned around in his arms and attempted to fuse his body with Nick’s as much as possible. “what I can do, however, is provide as many hours of cuddles as you would like before either a world ending catastrophe tonight, or your mission tomorrow, drags us away.”

                With a happy hum in his throat, Clint pressed a tender kiss against Nick’s throat “that sounds like a perfect plan.”

                “I thought you might agree with it,” it didn’t take Nick much effort to lean down and swing an arm behind Clint’s legs so that he could lift the blond up into his arms, bridle style. “let’s go to the bedroom. I plan on getting some sleep with our cuddles.”

                “What if Phil gets home?” inquired Clint, even though the mere mention of a nap already had him yawning.

                “then he can join us. Trust me, I’ve seen the schedule he had for today. He’ll need a nap of his own.” As he spoke, Nick carried Clint towards the bedroom with a grin plastered on his face, enjoying the attempts that Clint was currently making to curl up into his arms as much as physically possible.

                “Mmmmm, sounds perfect.” The blond commented, finding a comfortable spot in Nick’s arms and burying his nose into the older man’s chest with a happy sigh. “cuddles are the best.” It was the only physical intimacy Clint liked feeling safe and wrapped in his partners' arms with no strings or expectations attached.

                “I would hope so,” Chuckled Nick with a soft smile on his face “you’re like an octopus when it comes to cuddling. Your arms and legs attach to everything and there’s no escape.”

                  “you know, I would take that as a complaint on your part,” Clint started “but at the same time, I’m going to be gone for a day and I know you and Phil are going to use every surface in this house…”

                   “trust me Clint, I will never complain about you and all the cuddles you give.” Promised Nick in a soft, soothing voice. He knew Clint was insecure at times about the fact that he didn’t like sexual intimacy, but he also knew that the blond was just getting used to the idea of not one, but two very accepting partners who didn’t try to pressure him into sex.

                 “Best boyfriend ever.” The blond remarked with a triumphant grin “both of you


	5. Late night snack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil Coulson/Clint Barton

The apartment was dead silent when Phil walked in and dropped his keys in the tiny bowl that Nick had situated on a table by the entrance when they moved in.

            “Sly bastards,” he mumbled under his breath, kicking off his shoes and bending down to pick them up. Once his shoes were safely tucked away between Nick and Clint’s on the shoe rack, Phil straightened up again and made his way towards the kitchen while he peeled his suit jacket off of his shoulders “what did you order for dinner this time before you went to bed?”

            “Chinese,” Phil’s gun was out of its holster in a matter of seconds and pointed directly at a Smirking Clint. “am I going to need a safe word for the rest of the night?”

            “safe words are for sex. Cuddles get safe phrases because without them you’ll never release your octopus like grasp,” Phil pointed out in a calm voice “and don’t sneak up on me” he added in protested, even as a smile made its way onto his lips. Lowering his gun, he put it back in its holster and shook his head with a chuckle “you, Natasha and Melinda are the worst.”

            “You just hate the fact that we can sneak up behind you without a sound.” The smirked was still plastered on Clint’s face, and the younger man made his way towards Phil with quick, sharp steps.

            With a roll of his eyes, Phil decided to forget about the current conversation in favor of saving his pride. “I See you decided to steal Nike’s ranger shirt tonight? And…are those my SHIELD issues sweat pants?” he reached forward and curled a finger under the elastic band of the sweats in question, using the new grasp on Clint’s clothing to pull him close and press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “You do know that you have a closet of your own right? With your own clothing.”

            “Awww, but Phil,” Clint gave him the most pathetic whine that he could muster up, with an adorable set of puppy dog eyes to top it all off with. “my clothing doesn’t smell like you guys. I love falling asleep with your cloths because then, even when you’re not in bed with me, I feel like you’re still there.”

            “that is both adorable, and very weird.” Chuckled Phil, his finger still holding onto the elastic of the pants that Clint was wearing. “it sums you up quiet perfectly actually.”

            With a roll of his eyes, Clint leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Phil’s “haha, Funny man.”

            “Not the first to call me that.” pointed out Phil

            “And trust me,” Clint smirked, bringing a hand up and flicking Phil in the nose playfully “I won’t be the last, Funny man.”

            “You’re such a child.” Phil brought his free hand up to cover his nose after Clint’s attack. “I’m not going to share my war wonton soup with you now.” With that said, he let go of the sweat pants and made a beeline for the fridge.

            “H…h…hey!” Clint stuttered out a protested in shock. “that’s not fair Phil. You always share when I leave it unopen until you get home.”

            Opening the fridge, Phil decided to ignore his boyfriend for a bit, knowing that it would get under the younger mans skin. Instead, he reached in and picked up the unopened container of war wonton soup and opened it as if he was checking to make sure it hadn’t been touched.

            “Oh, don’t even,” protested Clint from behind him, and a smirk made its way onto Phil’s face at the sound of it. “you trained me well. I’m not going to open it and risk you never sharing with me again. Besides, you’d kill me because you wouldn’t be able to eat it.”

            “well maybe if someone had manners and put his soup in a bowl instead of eating it out of the container like a slob,” Phil pointed out calmly.

            “You kiss me Phil, it’s really not that different that eating out of the same bowl that my germs have been in” glaring back at the blond, Phil watched as Clint squirmed under the intense look he was giving him “ok ok, I get you. You don’t like sharing things that people drink or eat straight out of. That’s why I let you open it first now. So you know that I didn’t.”

            For a moment, Phil thought about the perfect way to respond that would annoy Clint more, only to find himself being hugged from behind by the blond.

            “Fine,” he let out an over exaggerated sigh “I guess you can have some since you dragged your ass out of bed and away from all those cuddles with Nick.”

            “See, I knew there was kindness somewhere deep inside that cold, robot heart of yours.” Clint joked.

            “Keep it up smart ass, and not only will I not share with you,” a whimper left Clint’s throat at the sound of Phil’s threat. “but I will also lock you out of the range for a week. Not even Natasha will be able to get you in.”

            Suddenly, the blond let go of him and took a step back, giving Phil a chance to close the fridge and turn around to face the other man.

            “You wouldn’t…” Clint face was hard, and there was a hint of fear in his eyes. Phil really shouldn’t have been enjoying the fear as much as he was, but he couldn’t help it. Clint was ridiculously protective of his range time and the idea of losing any of it seemed to be more horrifying to the blond than any of the times he had been shot or tortured.

            “Maybe, Maybe not,” he smirked “depends on how you feel about that ‘Robot heart’ of mine.”

            “Robot heart?” Clint smiled brightly “what robot heart? You’re all human handsome man. Human and sexy.”

            “That’s what I thought,” reaching up, Phil flicked Clint in the nose and smirked when the younger man whimpered and covered the offending area. “now, soup and then we can join Nick in bed for more cuddles.”

            “That is an amazing idea,” taking a step closer to Phil, Clint wrapped his arms around the older mans neck and beamed “absolutely perfect.”


	6. Dinner Date

For the first time in years, Phil found himself sitting in his favorite restaurant, across from his ridiculously gorgeous boyfriend, in a quiet atmosphere.  

         “It’s a little…” he started to speak, only to find himself at a loss for words.

            “Quiet? Creepy? Eerie?” Nick started to list off words for him, displaying his agreement with Phil’s observation “I’m afraid this whole place is going to blow up with how empty and…soundless it is.”

            With an amused huff, Phil shook his head and looked around at the empty patio that surrounded them. Inside he could see a few couples and families scattered throughout the place, enjoying their meals and talking about…

Well, he really didn’t know what normal people talked about. For him and Nick, everything seemed to revolve around SHIELD and their hobbies at home (when they had time for hobbies, that is). Conversations with Clint weren’t much different either, and that was probably a terrible side effect of them all having the same job and working constantly.

            “You know, I kind of like it,” Nick spoke up, breaking the silence that had fallen between the two of them. “it’s refreshing, not being surrounded by people.”

            Raising an eyebrow, Phil replayed Nick’s words in his mind a few times. “I’m sorry,” he gave up after a few rounds “Is…is that Nick Fury speaking because Marcus Loves people.”

            “I wish you would stop acting like Marcus and Nick are two completely different people.” Protested Nick with a roll of his eyes, even as a fond smile pulled across his lips.

            “I will when you stop acting like Marcus doesn’t exist anymore,” reaching over the table, Phil plucked one of the two remaining shrimp off of Nick’s plate and leaned back into his chair with a smirk. “and as I was saying, Marcus loves people. Nick Fury does too most days, but at the same time he is the Director of a top secret organization who needs to look bad ass and intimidating to his agents. I guess ‘Intimidating’ means ‘not fond of people’”

            Listening to his boyfriend describe him, Nick shook his head and laughed fondly while he watched the other man in amusement. “it’s not that Intimidating means not fond of people.” He defended himself “it’s just that people at work tend not to listen as easily when they think of you as a friend or an equal. SHIELD has countless hard ass' from various other Military style organizations. To gain respect from a lot of them, i need to seem more... intimidating.”

      “Good point.” Phil chuckled, holding up the tale of his shrimp in a goofy salute to Nick’s argument.

    “Besides,” Nick tilted his head and raised an eye brow “what else is Marcus according to you? What make’s the two of them so …different?”

            “Markus,” now Phil was leaning forward and propping his elbows on the table so that he could look at his boyfriend directly. “Markus is the man I met while I was still new to the rangers and in need of a friend who also happened to be my CO. The man I fell in love with and the man you are when you’re around friends. Cheerful, making jokes, telling stories of the old days, and being cuddly and loving in private.”

            Thinking about what his boyfriend had said, Nick couldn’t help but agree. Markus was the guy he was before. The guy who was good at his job, but wasn’t quiet cut out for the job of being Director of S.H.I.E.L.D like his father was. in his personally opinion. He was too kind and compassionate, which usually wasn’t a bad thing unless you had to make the hard call between letting Agents die to save even more civilians, or sending in people to save those Agents. Markus Johnson was trusting and kind, and those traits would only get him so far in SHIELD. They were traits that made a damn good and dedicated Agent, but would prevent someone from become a handler or director within SHIELD. They were traits that Clint still had, and the reason that Nick knew his boyfriend would always be one of the best Agents S.H.I.E.L.D. had, but would never be anything more than the field agent he was. thankfully, Clint didn’t seem to mind that at all.

            Of course, he still loved coming home at night and shedding his work persona in favour of his old, cuddle loving, trusting and playful self.

            “Wait…” he stopped his train of thought and frowned as he thought of something that Phil had failed to mention.

            “What part of you did Clint fall in love with?” a chuckle escaped Nick’s lunges, and he shook his head fondly because of course Phil knew what he was thinking, he always did. “That’s easy, he fell for both just like I ultimately did. First, he fell for Director Nick Fury. The guy who decided to give him a chance to be a hero, instead of putting a bullet in his head. Who made sure that he got all of the best training, without turning into his mentor because you were already falling hopelessly in love.”

            Picking up his wine glass from the table, Nick tilted it towards his boyfriend and smiled “Never stopped loving you thought.” He defended himself.

            “Of course not,” Agreed Phil. “I’m wonderful. Anyways,” the brunette chucked and tried to recall what he had been saying “Once he was in love with Nick, he was an easy catch for Marcus the first time you two hung out after work.”

            “Glad to hear I catch people’s hearts so easy.” Chuckled Nick.

            “You had mine at hello,” in Nick’s opinion, Phil couldn’t get any cheesier than what has just come out of his mouth. “Well, it’s kind of true. I really fell for you during that op in Bangladesh.”

            “You mean the part where we kept trying to out snark each other?” Leaning forward, Nick propped his elbows up on the table and laid his head down in his hands, looking over at Phil with a dopey smile. “or the part where I saved an entire village of innocent people with one bullet?”

            Phil couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh at the carefree way that Nick said the last part. He knew that his boyfriend was proud of what he had accomplished that day, and he had every right to be. He was, and always would be, a hero to the people of that village.

            “Actually,” he leaned back in his chair and smiled fondly “I think it was when you told off that punk 20-year-old who tried to say white people couldn’t be terrorists, even though you just took out a white terrorist threatening to blow up an entire village because he was a racist POS who thought he was doing ‘God’s work’.” Nick could see that Phil was already starting to fume at the reminder of the guy’s reasoning for threatening a villiage of innocent people who had done no harm. His boyfriend didn’t take offence to a lot of things in this world, he couldn’t to do his job properly, but whenever someone used his God’s name as an excuse to hurt other people.

            Nick shook his head with a chuckle “How people can be that…”

            “Stupid? Nieve? Blind?” Phil replicated what Nick had done to him earlier and started to list off words for his boyfriend, all while watching the smile on Nick’s face grow by the second, and his eyes starting to sparkle in amusement.

            “Racist,” he finally answered after a few more tries from Phil “Blindly racist. But, I’ll give him credit. He did get better over time.”

            “You were the team leader. It was a choice between ‘try to do better’ or ‘get written up and put on a new team’” with a shake of his head, Phil smiled fondly and raised his glass up off of the table, deciding then and there that he wasn’t going to let past ass holes get him down and ruin his date. “A toast.”

            “Oh, and what is this a toast to?” Asked Nick, following Phil’s movement and raising his glass up as well.

            “To fond, idiotic memories.” Phil decided after debating his options for a few seconds.

            “And the new one’s that we’ll make in the future.” Added Nick, reaching forward and clinking his glass against Phil’s at the exact same time that a loud crash and bang echoed through the air.

            “Was that…”

            “I think it was…”

            For a second, they were both stunned into silence, trying to figure out what was happening when a series of bangs went off, followed by bright flashes of light.

            “Son of a …” Phil threw his arms over his eyes in an attempt to block the violent bursts of light from reaching his retinas. Instead, he already felt an all too familiar disorientation that he knew was caused by a stun grenade. Standing up in his spot, he attempted to reach out towards Nick, trying to make sure that his boyfriend was still there and alright, only to find himself stumbling forward and crashing into the table instead.

            The next thing that he knew, there was a sharp pain in his stomach, either from someone else’s fist or knee, and he found himself trying to protect any part of his body that he could without being able to see or hear his attack, and with no idea of what was going on with Nick.


	7. Hospital Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil and Nick finally return to the land of consciousness long enough to get information about what happened to them on their early Valentines day date, and Clint prepares himself to be the support that he know's they're going to need.

                Tapping his foot against the floor, Clint kept his head down and his eyes trained on the ground and waited for either of the men beside him to wake up. It had been two days since the attack on their favorite restaurant, and both of them had been in and out of it since then with little to no time for anyone to explain what had happened to them, or find out how they were feeling, before they passed out again.

                “Come on,” he whispered to himself, drumming his fingers against the inside of his left wrist “this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. We have a system. I get hurt, you two worry and then we go out for Chinese. It was a nice, easy system.”

                “Maybe for once, they wanted you to know what it felt like,” his head snapped up without a thought, sending a stinging pain down his back after hours of being hunched over. “Relax, I brought coffee.”

With a soft sigh, Clint let himself melt back into the chair, watching as Laura walked over to him and stretched out a hand with a cup of coffee in it. “thank you,” he grunted, taking the offering and curling towards the warmth of the cup “Nice ring.”

                “I’d ask how you know, but you’re Hawkeye for a reason,” Her voice was heavenly compared to all of the machines beeping and the sound of nurses and doctors shuffling in and out of the room one by one to check up on his boyfriends. “Have they woken up again?”

                “Phil was up for about an hour,” he turned his head to look at the man in question, watching as his chest rose and fell in a smooth, easy succession. “His arm was in a lot of pain though, so the doctors gave him more medication.”

                Tilting her head to the side, Laura took a deep breath and closed her eyes, thinking about what to do next. “I assume they’ve said that the two of them are stuck here for a while?” she asked after a few moments, opening her eyes again to look back over at Clint.

                “Phil can go home whenever we want really. I just have to make sure he doesn’t try using his broken arm and doesn’t stain his injuries. Nick however…” his eyes darted towards the other man, watching as Nick’s eyes started to flutter open “Well, looks like he’s starting to wake up.”

                “Miracles do happen.” Chuckled Laura.

                “I Hurt but I’m not deaf,” grunted Nick, pain radiating through his body almost as soon as he woke up “Mmmmmm, what happened?”

                “Well, it looks like you and Phil decided to…” Nick cut Clint off by raising a hand and putting it over his mouth. The most impressive part, in Clint’s opinion, was that he hadn’t winced or growled in pain once until his hand was firmly over the blonde’s mouth.

“I think that means ‘shut up before I give you a list of all the time’s you did something actually stupid and landed your ass in the hospital’.” Laura provided an explanation helpfully, chuckling when the two men rolled their eyes and smiled over at her. “To rephrase what he was saying, you were attacked.”

                Without saying a word, Nick turned his head to the side until he got a semi clear view of Phil, and he let out a sigh of relief when he saw that his boyfriend was there and very much alive still. “Who…”

                “Well…” Laura winced, thinking about how to explain it to her friend and watching as Clint took hold of Nick’s hand and pulled it down and away from his mouth carefully.

                “A bunch of Racist, homophobic ass holes decided to attack the place you were at,” The blond explained, cutting right to the chase for Nick. He knew it would do no good beating around the bush, and it would have probably made Nick’s blood boil more if he had. “Apparently it’s a hot spot for Gay and Lesbian couples.”

                “Has been for years,” Agreed Nick, his other hand coming other to cover his eyes from the light “It….it’s why …”

                “Why you and Phil go there? Ya, I figured.” Extending his free hand out, Clint put it over Nick’s cheek and smiled softly “take it slow handsome. You have a minor Concussion. Doc says to expect headache, vomiting, and some dizziness.”

                “Hat trick,” A huff of laughter escaped Clint’s lungs before he could stop it, and he shook his head fondly at his boyfriend’s goofy comment. “When can we get out?”

                Glancing over at Laura, Clint raised an eye brow, hoping that her and Natasha had gotten some information out of the doctors before they went to get coffee. He would have asked himself but…well, no he wouldn’t have. He was terrible with people and it honestly exhausted him just asking a stupid question.

Plus, he was so worried about Nick and Phil that he hadn’t wanted to move away from his spot or talk to anyone unless he knew them really well. He would think he was useless, but then Natasha might show up and kick his ass.

                “You’ll be out of here in about an hour if you manage to stay awake,” Natasha’s voice cut through the quiet room, drawing everyone’s attention to were she was standing at the door, a set of stuffed animals tucked under her arm and a cup of coffee in her hand. “I called Jasper for a rid because you two are not going to fit in Laura’s car with all of the precautions we’re going to have to take to not injure you more.”

                “I appreciate that.” Nick smiled softly.

                “Ya, thanks Tasha,” keeping his eyes on his best friend, Clint beamed when she walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder “you and Laura should head home. You have celebrating to do.”

                “True,” She admitted, smirking over at her fiancée “I expect you three to visit once they’re in better shape. You’re part of our family as well.”

                Glancing over at his boyfriend, Clint reached over and took hold of his hand, squeezing it tenderly “We’ll make plans.” He promised in a soft voice, not letting his eyes leave Nick even as Natasha took hold of Laura’s arm and pulled her out of the hospital room.

                “So…” Nick turned his head to the side, glancing over at Clint “Want to explain exactly what happened? Cuz I remember…very little…which is odd.”

                “Concussion,” reminded Clint, holding Nick’s hand in his “The attack was started by an explosion in the parking lot, on the other side of the restaurant where you were sitting. By the time you would have heard it go off, the…group, was around the building and sending out flash bangs. You most likely saw the bright flash right after you heard the explosion.”

                “That sounds…” Nick took a moment to think about it, struggling with the Dizziness and Nausea “Ya, that sounds familiar. What happened next?”

                Instead of answer his boyfriend immediately, Clint took a deep breath and brought Nick’s hand up to his lips. Pressing a gentle kiss to the back of the hand, He smiled weakly and continued “You were attacked. Now, I know you’re going to ask, and yes. Yes you did deal out a fair share of your own damage. There are three in hospital because of you and Phil. The cops are charging them with aggravated assault and…a whole list of other things.”

                “Good.”

                Beaming over at his boyfriend, Clint couldn’t help but chuckle. Everyone seemed to think of Nick as this hard core bad ass who always had a plan and never thought about anything else. But Clint, Phil, Laura, Natasha, Jasper and a few other people knew the real Nick. Markus Johnson. The guy who could take the positive out of almost everything even when he was making plans and back up plans in his mind. He shouldn’t have expected today to be any different, concussion or not.

                “As for other people, there were a few families and couples at the restaurant. Some of them have minor injuries, others took a hard beating like you. It seems like once they got inside it was random until the cops showed up and put a stop to it.” He could see the worry starting to ease its way into Nick’s face, and he did his best to stop it before it got too bad. “No one was killed; I’ve had Natasha check in on them all. The worst is a broken rib in the lung, but she’ll make it through.”

                “That’s…. that’s very good.” Nick let out the breath that he had been holding, glad that him and Phil weren’t the only one’s who made it out fine “And us?”

                “Phil has a spiral fracture of the…uh, I think it was the Ulna and Radius. It’s a nasty break according to the doctor, and it was done to his right arm. They figure he got in a few good punches and one of those bastards…well…”

                “Decided to put a stop to it. Probably military trained in some way, or just really good.” As he spoke, Nick attempted to get a little more comfortable in the bed “Anything else?”

                “Other than multiple bruises, nothing else for Phil. You…. well, you know the concussion, and I’m guessing you can feel the two broken ribs.” Explained Clint, squeezing Nick’s hand in his when the older man attempted to look down at his torso.

                “Is that what that pain was? It’s been at least two years.” Nick huffed in amusement, laying back against the bed “And here I thought I was going to set a new record.”

                Shaking his head, Clint chuckled softly at his boyfriend playful tone. “Anyways, you’re down for a few weeks and Maria has already said she’ll take care of everything while you heal up.” A look of annoyance crossed Nick’s face for a split second, before settling into acceptance. “And, uhh. I’m…I’m going to be there. You have me 24/7 until you two can function on your own. Then you get me a little more than normal but Tasha might still want a mission partner once in a while.”

                Behind Clint, there was an amused huff, forcing both him and Nick to turn their attention towards Phil just in time to see him turning his head so that he could look at them. “Please, she’d have a fit if she had to take another sniper with her.”

                “You would know,” Clint smiled, reaching over with his right hand and laying it beside Phil, not wanting to aggravate his boyfriend’s injury. “you going to stay awake this time handsome?”

                “And miss you two talking about all the ass we kicked while we were disoriented, momentarily blinded and taken by surprise? Not a chance.” The entire room filled with three different types of laughter, and Clint couldn’t help but smile at the warm feeling that took over his chest. He had spent the last two days worried sick and afraid, and it was nice to be able to hear his boyfriend laughing with him and having a good time, even in their condition.

                “I’m going to…I’ll take care of you,” He promised, causing them both to look at him “I know I’m bad at…almost everything. But I will. I’ll cook, clean, make sure you don’t strain yourself…. I’ll do anything for you guys.”

                For a moment, neither of his boyfriends said anything, possibly too shocked by what Clint had said to respond. However, after a few seconds, Nick squeezed his hand gently and beamed up at him “I’m sure it’ll be perfect.”

                “Damn right it will be.” He smiled, brining Phil’s hand up to his lips and kissing it again “And If you need to talk, about what happened or absolutely anything, I will listen. I’ll even put my hearing aids in until right before bed.”

                “Now that,” Phil laughed from his bed “That’s a miracle. You keeping your hearing aids in after we get home.”               

                “Hey, I do it…sometimes.” Protested Clint, rolling his eyes when his boyfriend continued to laugh. He knew that Phil wasn’t wrong. He usually loved ripping his hearing aids off and putting them in their tiny purple box in the bathroom as soon as he got home. All three of them knew ALS, so it wasn’t as if communication at home was a problem, and the quiet was nice. Of course, it was also nice to hear Nick’s soft snores when he fell asleep on the couch with Clint splayed out on his lap. Or Phil’s humming whenever it was his turn to cook dinner, dancing around with various pots and pans while he tried to recreate the latest pop song without words. Hearing their heart beats while the three of them laid in bed, and when Clint had decided to sneak his hearing aids back on just for soft thumping of blood inside of their veins, reminding him that they were there, alive and safe.

                “Shit,” Phil’s sudden proclamation of annoyance Pulled Clint out of his thoughts “Valentines day, how long were we out?”

                Wincing, Clint looked down at the ground and sighed “between bouts of wakefulness, 2 days…” He whispered “But I mean…we can still do something…I postponed my plans when I found out what had happened.”

                “We can do that,” Nick agreed, a smile making its way back onto his face with Clint’s promise “Besides we still have presents right?”

                “Right…” Taking a deep breath, Phil sighed softly “Right, presents…. where’s our car? We left them in the car.”

                Seeing the two of them look over at him for answers, Clint screwed his eyes shut and groaned “The…the uhh, explosion in the parking lot….” He could hear Nick and Phil drawing in harsh breaths, readying themselves to have everything they had planned for ruined “It uh…kind of destroyed the car…. all of it.”

                The excitement and laughter that had filled the room just a few moments ago, all but disappeared as dread and sadness started to settle in. All three of them had been working as hard as they could to make Valentines day perfect, and within a few hours a bunch of self entitled pricks had ruined almost everything.

                “Hey, come on guys,” Clint prodded, trying to get them to cheer up “We can still have a nice dinner out, and your gifts are safe at home.”

                “And what about yours?” Phil asked weakly “We had plans and…”

                “I got my gift already,” he proclaimed with a shrug of his shoulders, smiling when Nick and Phil looked at him in confusion “you both woke up and you’re going to be fine. I couldn’t ask for anything better.”

                “Sap,” they both spoke at the same time, smiling when Clint shrugged his shoulders.

                “Damn right I am, and I blame you two for it.” He chuckled fondly, leaning down and Kissing Nick’s nose before turning around to do the same to Phil “Now chit chat and be the adorable dorks I know you are. I’m going to go see when I can get those release papers started.”


	8. Rest and Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint finally gets to take Nick and Phil home from the hospital.

                Propping the door open with his shoe, Clint made his way back out into the hallway and smiled as he watched Phil and Nick struggling with their things. “would you two relax?” He protested “I told you that you’re taking it easy for the next little while. That includes lifting things and trying to bring things home.”

                “It’s just a busted arm,” protested Phil even as he attempted to catch a falling bag of groceries that he had picked up off of the floor with his bad arm “ok…that hurt.”

                “The doc said it would.” Taking a few steps towards the other man, Clint eased his hands into the bag handles and took them away from Phil “go sit down on the couch. I’ll make sure your cuddle buddy is there in a moment.”

                “Both of them?” Phil pouted in an attempt to get Clint to agree.

                “We’ll see” with a fond chuckle, he made his way back over to Nick and smiled as he watched the other man protecting the bags of groceries that he had managed to get onto his lap, afraid that Clint might try to take them “Don’t worry, you can keep your precious ice cream and beer. I just want to get you inside.”

                Gripping the handles of Nick’s wheelchair, Clint pushed him forward carefully and kept an eye on all of the groceries, ready to catch anything that happened to fall.

                “You know, we’re not incapable of taking care of ourselves.” Phil pointed out even as he sat down on the large couch in the living room and let himself melt into the cushions “We’ve had to take care of ourselves without you when we’ve been injured before.”

                “Well, this time you don’t have to,” pushing Nick’s wheel chair up to the couch, Clint reached over and took the bags off of his lap carefully, chuckling when Nick glared up at him “I just want to make sure your beer gets cold and the ice cream doesn’t melt on your lap.”

                It took a moment for Nick to contemplate what he had said, but he finally relinquished his grip on the bags and let Clint take them away. “Bonus,” Phil chirped playfully ‘you can join me on the couch for cuddles now.”

                “Cuddles are always a bonus for you.” chuckled Nick. Pushing himself up from his chair carefully, he watched as Phil held out his good arm towards him and waited patiently for the other man to join him on the couch.

                For a moment, Clint stood there beside the couch and watched fondly as Nick managed to find his way onto the couch and into Phil’s arms. It took a bit of maneuvering between the two of them, but eventually they found a comfortable spot that didn’t aggravate either of their injuries. “I’m going to need pictures of this.” He smiled to himself, enjoying the view for a second longer before finally making his way towards the kitchen.

                “So long as no one else gets hold of them,” Phil’s voice followed him into the kitchen with Nick’s laughter not too far behind “I don’t even want to know how some of our friends would react to these kids of pictures.”

                “You’re just afraid that Melinda would frame it and put it up somewhere that everyone could see it.” Accused Nick.

                “Of course I am, are you kidding?” Clint heard Phil’s protests from the kitchen and chuckled to himself as he listened to his boyfriends bicker about Photographic evidence and not seeming as scary to Agents if they saw them being cuddly with each other.

“Dorks.” He muttered under his breath fondly, setting the groceries on the counter and getting to work on putting them away.

A few minutes later, once everything was safely tucked away in its spot, Clint pulled out a can of Diet root beer from the fridge and the last two cold beers from the last grocery run. In the background he could hear Phil and Nick chuckling, obviously having found a better conversation than the one he had left them with.

“Order up!” He called out as he walked back into the living room, setting his root beer down on the coffee table as soon as he was close enough and proceeding to open Nick and Phil’s beers “two Vomit drinks for the injured parties.”

“Is that what they’re called now?” Nick asked in an amused tone while Clint handed them their drinks “interesting new name. don’t think it’ll see all that well though.”

“Must be a temporary thing,” chuckled Phil. “Kind of like that flavourless fake root beer stuff.”

Gasping, Clint held his root beer close and glared over at Phil “flavourless? Fake? You take that back!” He protested.

“Not a chance.” Smirked Phil. Watching Nick reach out and put a hand on Clint’s knee, he chuckled when the Archer pretended to glare at him.

“And I was thinking of making you dinner,” narrowing his eyes, Phil watched as Clint contemplated what to do next “well,” he sighed in mock defeat “I guess Nick’s just going to have to eat extra for you tonight.”

“I think I can manage that,” bringing his good hand up from his side, Phil smacked Nick in the shoulder lightly and gave him a look of horrified protest when he glanced back at him “What? You shouldn’t have called his drink flavourless and Fake.”

“I hope you enjoy a life without sex after I starve to death.” He declared dramatically, flopping back against the couch and throwing his good hand over his eyes.

Taking a moment to himself, Phil listened to the other two bursting into laughter before they were cut off by Nick grunting in Pain when the laughter aggravated his broken ribs.

“I don’t want to have to put a ban on laughing you two,” Protested Clint. With a sigh, Phil let his hand drop down and wrap itself around Nick’s chest so that he could hold the other man a bit closer. “I’ll go make dinner, you two…rest. Try not to kill each other with laughter please. I don’t want to have to have that engraved on your tombstones when it could be something like “massive explosions while killing Aim assholes”

“If I go out in a fiery ball of death while kicking AIM ass, I want that written across the sky.” Proclaimed Nick, throwing his hands up into the air for emphasis and chuckling when Clint reached out to grab his wrist in protest “alright, alright. We’ll be good.”

“We’re never good.” Declared Phil, smirking when Clint glared over at him “what? You know it’s true. You wouldn’t be with us if we were some sort of goody good duo that didn’t start nerf wars with you and kick your ass in snowball fights.”

“No one kicks my ass in snow ball fights,” Clint pointed out as a smile creeped up on his face at the memories that had started to pop up. “Nick kicks my ass on the floor matts and you give me a thrashing when it comes to video games.”

“And don’t you forget it.” The two of them responded in sync before starting to laugh again.

“You two are hopeless.” Leaning over in his spot, Clint pressed a kiss to Nick’s forehead before moving up and doing the same to Phil “I’ll bring dinner here and we can eat while we watch shitty tv?”

Contemplating it for a moment, Nick glanced up at Phil and smiled brightly “that sounds like a perfect idea.” He declared, doing his best to cuddle up even closer to Phil than he already had. “we’re not going anywhere.”

“better not.” Standing up straight, Clint took a moment to gaze at the two of them. With a chuckle, he shook his head and started to make his way back towards the kitchen. He was looking forward to pampering the two of them for the next little while, even if they said that they didn’t need it. It was the best way to make up for the ultimate valentine’s day fiasco in his opinion.


End file.
